Jason X

So I was enjoying some good bad movie time with Jason X, a particularly horrible horror film.

When I first saw this film (yes, I did see it in theaters, believe it or not), I raised a question that I haven't spoken about for some time. After seeing the movie again, it prompted me that I needed to bitch about it.

The film starts off with Jason chained up in the center of a room, seemingly catatonic due to being injected with something (as seen in the intro credits). Either way, means it's safe, right?

So they say they got him prepped for cryogenic sleep because they've "tried everything. Electrocution, gassing, firing squad, we even hanged him!"

May I just say for the record that is NOT EVERYTHING!

Why didn't they dismember him? Hack him off in pieces, burn the pieces, call it good? Hell, why didn't somebody just decapitate the fucker? Or better yet, has ANYONE in their right damn mind EVER thought to just blow him up with grenades or something?

I mean, it's not like they were worried about being humane with this guy or anything, no, not at all, not if they've already fried him, snuffed him, given him the lead salad, and squeezed all the air out of his lungs.

You'd think they'd have no problem trying a few other methods, just maybe?

Let me see, I believe, however, there is a real case of one man who holds the title of the "why won't you just die" award. Rasputin. Poisoned, shot four times in the back, beaten severely, and then because he was found with his arms upwards with his hands clawed liked he was scraping his way out, and water was found in his lungs, it turns out that he drowned, too.

When have you NOT seen dismemberment work? Seriously. Any story, works every time. As long as you follow the steps and keep the pieces separated while you burn them individually. But seriously. DISSECTION IS KEY!