Red: Damn PG-13, You's Gettin' Ballsy!

Today I ventured to the theater and saw the movie Red, a loose adaptation of a short 3-part comic book of the same name, under the DC label.

While the film is rated PG-13, I was treated to a healthy dose of people getting blown the fuck up (there really isn't a better way to say it, that's exactly what you get, and it's ridiculous in the best way), numerous explosions, hefty hand-to-hand fights (the smackdown between Bruce Willis and my super-pretend boyfriend Karl Urban is pretty great), and most interestingly: it has consistent, supportive and adamantly humorous dialog that glorifies and practically advertises how awesome and badass it is to be employed by the government to murder and annihilate at the drop of a hat.

In fact, beyond having Willis's character be called the "good guy" twice by a bad guy who's played by a rather well-aged Richard Dreyfus (it's nice to see him still acting!) and one mention of a dude that Willis's character killed who was a really bad guy, there is no message in this film that says it's not OK to want to grow up and become a black ops agent for the CIA and kill a mass amount of foo's while traveling all over the world to overthrow terrorist actions and domestic and foreign government stabilities.

The movie was pretty entertaining over all and the characters were appealing enough that you could sympathize with them, making it totally all right whenever they killed someone.  Granted, it was "all in self-defense," sure.  But at the same time to further support the idea that killing for your work is fun and fulfilling as a career, there are a few scenes where the characters reminisce about how much they miss doing what they do best and they do it with humor and with fondness.  On one end, the 'adult' in me says that kids are allowed to see this movie, and it might not necessarily be a good idea.  But on the other end, the 'me' in me, says, "Hahaha; they miss putting bullets in people and they talk about it like they miss going on vacation.  Oh, the absurdity!"

As for the actors in the movie, John Malkovich has a supporting role that he does quite well and he made me laugh at all the right times (some of his lines are just so well-timed the joke almost eludes you).  Morgan Freeman is...well, he's the cozy grandpa you wish you had if you don't/didn't already have one, and so he's always a joy to watch.  Helen Mirren is distinguished and charming as an older woman who knows her firearms.  Neat thing about her that I noticed was that she must have had quite a lot of training with the weapons she used (or she was a damn natural)--she was extremely steady and rarely blinked--kudos to her for being tough!  And of course, Karl Urban is delicious and grumpy-faced as always (a trademark that will always suit him I think), and to add to my personal amusement, a comment is made between Willis and Ernest Borgnine about Urban's physical description as the guy with "the cute haircut."

Excuse me for a moment while I express my sheer youthful girlish behavior: EEEEEEEEE!!!!!! :D

Point in short, this film was fun, steady-paced, full of action, full of good humor, and inspires you to want to join the CIA just so you too can fulfill that suddenly-invented lifelong dream of wanting to shoot a .50cal machine gun into a line of GMC trucks while wearing your evening best.  Fuck yeah, FTW!